the funniest conversation my life (actual conversation)

S: rich and i was about to go to the beach for a search untill two bakini clad ladies showed up at the pool here
Me: damn, where the fuck am I, ok then
S: listen you can only play bad cop with you got someone else to play the good cop. othere wise the perp will clam up
Me: (growly rogue voice) "I was just going out and had a quick swimm at the beach opposite the California"
S: take extra pants and lots of cash wiht your passport
Me: "when I came back my pants where all in sand, my papers went missing and I did not have my cards anymore"
Me: Let's create the "Tim's pants and missing passport support" group on facebook, he said he did not have money for Jo'burg
R: we created a pants search event already
Me: that's if he manage to go there
Me: where? where?
R: on Facebook, been up and running for an hour or more, lemme check and make sure you got invited
Me: that's why he looked smart today, wasn't his throusers
S: take a pic of him so we can add to the page
Me: shit, he doesn't want to speak to me anymore, I've been honest w/ him
R: your on the RSVP list
Me: and you know I have the tact of a frenchman
R: we are working on a picture to add
Me: k, lemme check if I have anything dummy
R: he has a plane ticket and can just sit in the airport in Joburg, is SLB gonna charge him an idiot tax for all this trouble?
Me: I'm in, sad A.'s off facebook
Me: yeah, he should B in US ambassy now, getting lectured
R: very sad, he would be lovin this
Me: did U pass the event on the guys in Soyo? cos they need to B involved
R: whoever was on my friends list
Me: even from far we need manpower
R: get it out to whoever I missed
Me: will do, F. too
S: need to call the riggs... lots of support out there as well
Me: ye, can we get helicopter coverage??
R: get A. in on the conference here, we need his input
Me: deffo, he's currently busy, seems like. Did J. fall off facebook? Has he ever been in?
S: dont think he was in
Me: mmmmmmmmm, him likin' chicks so much I don't get how he missed the opportunity. So U guys are gonna share the love around T. (The guy in question, the origin of this all)? he'll feel so happy
oilboy: lol ..
R: really wanna see him, tell him to come by the Fortaleza so we can show him some support, couple chicks by the pool tanning
oilboy: well I am sure he wont learn a lesson for this ..
R: he can lock his pants in my room if he wants
Me: found 22 on my list, well he ensured me he did, he's in his room watching movies AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLL day
oilboy: he is like pablos dogs .. he hears pussy and his eyes gloss over
S: cant wait to here the story that he takes home
Me: I can try to look for him tonight, hide a microphone and save it on this event, that pussy must have been a catchy one
oilboy: well ... I am sure he has nothing nice to say about the locals .. hahah .. but how can one guy get robbed everytime he comes here
R: K., you are onto something
S: prime example of the ole "snatch and grab" technique
Me: yep, cannot find a pic
R: even the guy who spent one hitch lucking around Soyo has it all figured out
Me: might we go out, take a pic of wallet and p/p on the beach and post it?
O: yes had a friend pay 20 dollars for a blow job .. she dropped his pants snatched his wallet and left him standing in a alley with his pants down and a hard on
Me: poor J., that's not nice for him!!!
R: did anyone tell him to look wherever he keeps his PSP, phone, and the other cash he has had stolen so far?
O: I may have a pic of tim too
Me: that's the pinguin technique, I almost fell for that one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
R: might find it there
O: lol, that blow job cost my buddy .. 2500, she cleaned his account
Me: at least
S: wow he came out nearly as bad as T...
Me: plus the lecturing @ the US ambassy
S: but he probably didnt have to become a angolan resident
B: he needs to watch the full monty.take your trousers off,but leave yer hat on !!!
C: hes just a fucking moron
O: well I am sure he has to explain that there .. those guys have heard it all I am sure
C: T. the tool man
R: make sure the whole true story gets to the Embassy ahead of him ahahaha
Me: (rogue voice) "I lmade a mistake and I learnt a lesson"
O: that would be funny ,... he walks in and they say hello tim
B: fuckin A 1 nugget, T. nice but dim
C: i can see the head line bald usless yank lost everything while swiming(with a local)
Me: shagging down the water mmmmmmmmm
O: thought he was gonna swim with the local
S: had a hard life... fell off a turnup truck... and they dont grow turnups in lousiaiana
R: he said that the day after the night he got drunk and caused a stir at the staff house with 2 girls in a row because he didnt get off and wasnt paying them
Me: but the b/friend nicked it all out
C: her dad did
Me: so that was him, or he fucked the dad down the water and the girl nicked the pants...
R: we had P. translate what the girls were saying and she said he didnt get off becuz he couldnt get it up
O: so did he have underwear to walk home in ... or just nicked the pants\
O: lost prime
Me: I did not want to get that precise with him
R: that was P's words
Me: the picturing in my head was rather... scary
O; P. said lost prime
S: lessons learned... always bring viagra
C: he was pumping bottoms up
Me: and an extra pair of pants, I think he's guay
S; decoy pants
Me: by looking at the g/f he spent 3000$ on
C: you can get the V from w ford cabinda
O: maybe spray on pants ... like you see in playboy .. that girls with their bikinis
Me: easier to pressurise up
B: she obviously didn't take american.i thought every one took it
R: decoy pants with fake wallet and passport
Me: but where can you put your wallet????
C: in you fucking room like your supossed to
R: in the decoy pans
C: what a TWAT
Me: hey, he did not know, and a lot of ppl got their p/p and wallet stolen
O: has checked his room yet .. you know T.. look where he thinks he lost it
Me: so that's why he figured out he could get it on the pants
S: keep the wallet with the fake $3k
Me: I think the p/p is under his bed
C: no no we need a face bok page fore his pants
Me: after he shagged that chick, the papers fell off his (decoy) pants
11/14/2008 10:55:53 AM cleslie7@hotmail.com richard hawe, Dave, Scott, papagaio face book page for his pants
C: so what schm saying
S: get him a passport n get him outa here i think
C: lol
Me: anything, but please away from us
C: is he getting back?
Me: well... would you have him back after some like that, especially when it is fucking obvious he's lying?
S: loosing him is would be like having southpark cancled... what we gonna do next for entertainment
R: he has been busted with the lying thing already
C: we have tony drodge coming in
R: apparently Ra. caught him playing PSP after he tried to expense $300 for having it stolen
C: lovely
Me: ups
S: you mean that wasnt his back up?
R: maybe it was
Me: (rogue voice)"that's not my PSP, that's Richard's!!!"
Me: na, it was a decoy PSP
R: maybe he went down the Best Buy in Soyo and bought another one
C: well he told lee it never got a new one\
S: he told me he bought it at the walmart next to the airport
C: he just a wank
Me: in Jo'burg right?
R: did you say To. was joining in the roast C.?
D: hey stop going so quick
S: funny, when he first came there he told me he was a offshore hand, he dont work on the yard... then i hear he dont work out there either?
R: glad you could join us D.
Me: D. hasn't stated the diesel engine yet ;)
D: tee hee
R: did you get the scoop yet D.?
Me: it was F's b/day yesterday apparently
D: no let me in on it was upstairs
Me: anyone to phone WK and cheer him up?
C: i said we have To. for fun now
R: Alex would you care to fill D. in on the conv?
Me: arfff
D: in english please
Me: (Rogue voice)"I was going to have a swimm on the beach"
C; right dave T. lost everything after being a twat in lunada
R: you tell it best as you have heard the first hand account
Me: (Rogue Voice)"and I left my pants on the beach to take the swimm, when I came back my pants were stolen, and my passport was in it, plus my credit cards and my money"
C: i wander if his psp was in his pants as well lol
D: oh dear
S: he first left his common since in louisiana befrore he came to work...
C: fuck did he have any
Me: (Rogue Voice)" I swear I wasn't trying to shag a bitch under water and I got nicked by the b/f like a prick I am"
B: did you ever have any S.
R: this aint a S. roast lol
Me: (Rogue Voice)"I made a mistake and now I have learnt a lesson"
R: stick to the topic Ben
S: yea but i keep in in the safe at work
D: kin hard lesson
Me: (Rogue voice)"Believe me now I'm sitting inside my room watching movies all day, I dont go out anymore"
B: meant he ever have any.sorry S.
S: i dont think he will have much use for a passport after he uses his new one to get home
Me: tuff love brothers. yeah, but what about the pants??? he needs his pants man!!!
R: if he has thee balls to return and face everyone as the laughing stock of Soyo he is more of a man than me
S: if there is a god in louisiana hes wife will take over wearing the pants in his home
Me: but is his wife a troll? I mean, is she that of a bitch? or an ugly cunt?
S: i think she must have lost a bet
Me: hahaha
R: lol
Me: now U get the bold guy, noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not him!!!
Me: that programm blind date
C: i saw the photo of his wife in his wallet when he lost it the other night
O: posted my sighting of the pants on the dedicated website for the pants ...
C: she no looker
C: whats the web site
Me: mmmmmm
O: on the facebookk site
Me: so he thought it was the time of his life, tried to burn the candle from both side
C: what the address
Me: short candle
Me: you refused to accept the party bro
S: maybe we can sent message to the news channel in his home town to alert them to his plite... they can start up a campagne to raise money to fly him back!
O; LMAO, it would work ..
C: did i
Me: haha, unfortunately C. yes U did
C: oh well send it again
Me: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=94942780458
Me: gadda go too speak to U on the way back from the gally. might bump into some pants on my way